The Secret that I Hide
by Angel Grrl
Summary: Well, another story! ^_^ This one's about Harry! YAY! His feelings during the last battle w/ Voldemort! GoF spoilers! Please don't be too harsh! Thanx to all my reviewers! ^_^


A/N: Here is another gang! This one is from the POV of Harry! It's during the battle w/ Lord Voldemort at the end of GoF. SO spoilers ahead! I'm actually writing this while I'm depressed at the moment...so, I hope it's not too bad....actually, it might suck 'cause of this! So, please read and review! Thanks  
  
  
Disclaimer: A statement made to save one's own ass. J/K "Harry Potter" is J.K. Rowling's and the song is Madonna's.  
  
  
"Live To Tell"  
By: Angel Grrl  
  
  
(A/N: Right off! I know I'm stealing RIGHT from the book but I have to to give it the effect....ok? SO, I'm not plageurizing I'm just borrowing for effect. Ok? SO, please don't report me or anything....I don't like big lawyer type peeps!)  
  
"I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry" said Dumbledore.  
  
"We can leave that till morning, can't we, Dumbledore?" said Sirius harshly. He had put a hand on my shoulder. "Let him have a sleep. Let him rest."  
  
I felt a rush of gratitude toward my godfather, but Dumbledore took no notice of Sirius's words. He leaned forward towards me. Very unwillingly, I raised my head and looked into those blue eyes.  
  
"If I thought I could help you," Dumbledore said gently, "by putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what ahs happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you. I ask you to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you tell us what happened."  
  
  
  
I have a tell to tale  
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well  
I was not ready for the fall  
Too blind to see the writing on the wall  
  
  
I then began to go back into time......I was going back through my memories and I the memories flooded back to me. I told them how when Cedric and I had touched the cup that we had both been transported to an old abandoned graveyard......and how we had been cautious of the man coming ever nearer to us. I remembered exactly what had happened next: The man walking ever nearer to us......and holding something in his hands......it looked like a baby almost. With our wands pointed out, I felt my mouth go dry as I watched this small figure of a man. All of a sudden, my scar BURNED with pain! A horrible pain that I had never thought possible......then, I heard that voice. THAT voice......the voice that had haunted me for all fourteen years of my life. I heard it shout,   
  
"Kill the spare!"   
  
Then, the words......followed by a flash of green light and a heavy thump beside me. The pain was so incredible that I retched and then when it was slowly fading away,I looked down and there lay Cedric dead......I couldn't believe it. Cedric?? DEAD?! As I lay there......staring at Cedric's motionless and cold body I was being tied to the headstone. The name, read: Tom Riddle. I attempted to struggle and then I was hit by a hand with a missing finger. Wormtail!   
  
  
A man can tell a thousand lies  
I've learned my lesson well  
Hope I live to tell   
The secret I have learned, 'till then  
It will burn inside of me  
  
  
He didn't say anything......just tied my arms and gagged me with some sort of black cloth. He then scurried away like the rat that he is. I began to be filled with a sort of hate for him. He was the one responsible for all of my pain......for my parents death. Him and Voldemort! I began to think of my mother......and my father. I don't know why, but it was comforting in an odd sort of way. My earliest memory...and I never told anybody this!...was right before Voldemort had killed my parents. My mother was rocking me back and forth to keep me quiet. I could barely remember her face now, but I did, and then Voldemort took her away from me! But there was one thing he couldn't kill......her love for me. It was still there......still there on my forehead.  
  
  
I know where beauty lives  
I've seen it once, I know the warmth she gives  
The light that you could never see  
It shines inside you can't take that from me  
  
  
  
I looked up to see the small bundle that Wormtail had left. Cedric and I had thought it to be a baby, but now I wasn't so sure. Then, it started to move and I knew then that I didn't WANT to know what was in it. My ears perked up as I heard noises at my feet. Looking down, I saw an enormous serpent circling the headstone. My eyes widened and I prayed to God or whoever might be listening that I wouldn't end up as so much snake shit. (A/N: FOR YOU MOM!) Then, I heard Wormtail coming back. I could hear his shallow breathing and wheezy cough. It sounded as if he was pushing something too, when he came within my line of sigh I saw that it was indeed a cauldron.   
  
'What was he doing with a cauldron?' I thought, bewildered.   
  
It was filled with water and it was huge! Hagrid could sit in it and take a comfortable bath! I heard stirring and the bundle of robes was moving again. My breath caught in my throat......fear gripping my insides, just what was in that bundle? I then, realised that I didn't want to know. The large snake had slithered away and I felt somewhat relieved but not by much. I heard the crackling of flames and realised that Wormtail must have used a charm on it. The water began to heat very fast and the surface sent out fiery sparks. I began to become panic-stricken......where was Dumbledore?? Surely, somebody must have realised that nobody was coming out! That Cedric and I had disappeared. Why weren't they looking for us?? Then, my thoughts were interrupted by the same high-pitched voice...  
  
"Hurry!"  
  
  
A man can tell a thousand lies  
I've learned my lesson well  
Hope I live to tell   
The secret I have learned, 'till then  
It will burn inside of me  
  
  
Wormtail unveiled what was in those robes. I let out a yell mixed of horror and disgust. What was I seeing?? A baby?!?! No, no baby could look so horrible......no, not a baby.........a demon. It was hairless and scary looking, a dark, raw, reddish-black. Its arms and legs were thin and feeble, and it's face resembled a snake. When Wormtail picked it up, he looked disgusted. He slowly lowered the THING into the cauldron and I heard it thump on the bottom...  
  
'Let it drown', I thought. ' Please......let it drown.'  
  
Wormtail then cast the spell......he took a bone from the grave of Tom Riddle and added it to the cauldron, then he cut off his own hand and then he looked at me. He came at me, sobbing and holding his bleeding stump to his body, as if trying to protect it. He cut my arm with the dagger he held in his one hand and drew blood. Then, he too added that to the cauldron. Then, the sparks flew and the cauldron went wild!  
  
'It's gone wrong...it's drowned......please...please let it be dead.'  
  
Then, through the mists that surrounded the bubbling cauldron a man rose. He ordered Wormtail to robe him and then he stepped out of it, almost snake-like. I finally saw who it was that had been that demon...  
It was Lord Voldemort. I knew only one thought, I must warn Dumbledore...and yet if I was killed, I would never give them any warning and all would be lost. I looked up at the snake-like man in horror and awaited certain death.  
  
  
The truth is never far behind  
You kept it hidden well  
If I live to tell  
The secret I knew then,   
will I ever have the chance again?  
  
  
Lord Voldemort did nothing but stare. Finally, he turned to Wormtail and ordered him to hold out his arm. Reluctantly, he did so and then, he turned to me. He mocked me, telling me about his TRUE family. I merely looked at him. Then, almost instantly, the graveyard was filled with people shrouded in black capes and masks. They were the Deatheaters. I never stood a chance against them. I heard them speak. I recognized some of their voices. I heard Mr. Malfoy, Avery, Macnair, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, and he mentioned some missing deatheaters too. I didn't want to think who these walking corpses were, for I knew that's what they were. Voldemort then rounded on me, he taunted me, told his followers how powerful he was and his struggle to survive all alone and helpless. He then touched me. It was cold and chilled my soul to the very bone. He told them that he would prove himself by killing me. That we would duel...but not before placing the Cruciatus Curse on me. It was HORRIBLE! I didn't know if I could survive this much longer, and then, it was over. Then, ordering Wormtail to untie me and to give me back my wand, we dueled. My mind began racing, I could run, I could try to get away......but NO! My father had stood up like a man, and I wasn't going to let this cruel demon-like man mock me nor my father's spirit. If I died I would die like a man, not cowering and begging for mercy......but if I did die, then who would warn the others. Who would warn the school and all of the rest of the wizarding world? I realised somewhere deep inside my mind that if I didn't survive that I would be the first-no, the second to die in Voldemort's new reign of terror.   
  
  
If I ran away, I'd never have the strength   
To go very far  
How would they hear the beating of my heart  
Will it grow cold  
The secret that I hide  
Will I grow old?  
How will they hear?   
When will they learn?  
How will they know?  
  
  
But I didn't die! I survived...with the help of my parents, Cedric, Bertha Jorkins and muggle. When our wands had connected something had happened....I wasn't sure what. Dumbledore said that it was the reverse spell effect. All I knew was this, I was seeing my parents. After the connection with our wands had been broken, I ran! I ran as if the hounds of hell were chasing me and they might as well have been. I ran until I got to Cedric's body and holding him and the portkey, we disappeared and the next thing I knew was Dumbledore bending over me. The only thing I managed to get out was this,  
  
"He's back. He's back. Voldemort."  
  
Suddenly, the crowd was coming in around me and shouting over Cedric's dead body. I couldn't let go. He was the only thing that was keeping me sane at that moment. It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair that Cedric had to die and not me. If I hadn't told him to grab the cup with me then he would never have been killed! Never......and I felt then, guilt that I had never felt in my life. I knew, somehow, that this would be with me forever, even if it wasn't my fault.   
  
  
A man can tell a thousand lies  
I've learned my lesson well  
Hope I live to tell  
The secret I have learned, 'till then  
It will burn inside of me  
  
  
Sometime later, never mind how long, I woke up in a hospital bed. I had told Dumbledore and Sirius the entire story and did not feel like repeating it for anyone else. I was awoken by loud whispers and heard Fudge's voice. He stormed in the room and there was a heated argument between himself, Dumbledore, McGonnagall, Snape, and Mrs. Weasley. He refused to believe that Voldemort was back! He refused! He had let Barty Crouch's son (whom was posing as Professor Moody) be killed by a Dementor. Well, not really killed, but he had his soul sucked out of him through his mouth and that is a fate worse than death. He was obviously not going to accept this fact that Voldemort was back and was going to be a lot more stronger and cause even more havoc. After he stormed out, the teachers were given certain instructions and Sirius was revealed to Snape and Mrs. Weasley. Snape didn't take it really well, and there was a truce made. Mrs. Weasley was certainly shocked at seeing Sirius but Ron calmed her down. Then, I was sent back to a dreamless sleep. Thinking about how much beaurecracy was not FOR the people at all...but more for politics.  
  
  
The truth is never far behind  
You kept it hidden well  
If I live to tell   
The secret I knew then  
Will I ever have the chance again?  
  
  
It was true. Fudge, was keeping it quiet. That meant that nobody was going to be warned and lives were not going to be saved. He was a prejudiced person too. He wouldn't keep a truce with the giants and he was going to allow the dementors to STAY in Azkaban. This was too much...even for me. I only hope that we will all survive this. I hope that we'll live to tell our tales.........someday  
  
  
The End  
  
A/N: OK! It's review time....I KNOW! IKNOW! I sped it up towards the end but I wanted to get to the point. I had my little rant in there about politics and beaurecrats! Especially the ones at the DMV. And especially principals who are only doing things for political correctness. Rutledge Dingle you SUCK! Anywho.......PLEASE REVIEW?!?! Thanx..of and if it did suck, I apologize in advance! ^_^  
  
  
  
  



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